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this is how people without airpods look to me
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cat brains are so small but they fit so much bastard into them
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Me: I’m having such a hard time, can y’all please go easy on me?
According to this meme I made in 2016, 2018 is the last year in a barrage of terrible years. In 2019, the suffering will end and good things will come to us once again
Reblog for a good 2019, because goddamnit we all need it.
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yesterday this girl in my academic writing class sits down next to me and puts 3 bananas on the desk (which was jarring by itself) and i had two bananas in my backpack so i wanted to see if she would notice if i added those to her banana pile when she wasn’t looking and when she finally looked back at the bananas she sighed and said really quietly to herself “oh my god…i have so many…” and put all five of them in her backpack
the anniversary of this legend
(Source: woodwrit)
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the older i get the more i can understand why people back in the old fairytale days would just fuck off and be a hermit in the woods. just chilling out in the middle of nowhere and occasionally telling random heroes cryptic shit. living the fucking dream.
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subway employees when i tell them i want a sub:
(Source: twitter.com)
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speaking of military i had a couple come up to my job to buy tickets to the gallery and we were all sold out and the guy says “I’m military! don’t you think there’s anything you can do?” and his wife continues, “Yes! he’s active military!” and it took Everything In My Body to not burst out laughing as I repeated that we were sold out
white americans: can we get two tickets
me: we’re sold out
white americans: but i willingly participate in the destruction of other countries in the name of imperialism!!!! don’t ya think you can put your job on the line to let me in this sold out show for free?? :D
me:
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(Source: pettycentral)
